Your desire might be to buy a new car, or take a holiday to Thailand, or buy nice new clothes. Great! Nothing wrong with that. But I want to talk about your deeeeepest desires, about the specific, deepest longings of your heart.
For a masculine-oriented person, it might be the experience of absolute freedom and expansiveness and raw power you get on a mountaintop out in nature, or the longing to be awash in the beauty of a feminine open heart and body.
For a feminine-oriented person the ache in her heart might be for her masculine partner to fully know her, to see her, to love her exactly as she is at that moment, and for her to see that love in his eyes.
When you get caught up in the attachment or sense of entitlement to attain these deep, divine desires, the desires lose their power and their radiance as they become entangled in unconscious (or conscious) attempts to possess them, to grasp them. It’s so easy to get caught up in the ‘shoulds’ of your longings – and there lies potentially so, so much suffering.
What if you could let go of the attachment, of needing to achieve those desires you long for so much? What if you could experience the desires, fully, wholeheartedly, simply for their own sake? What if the desires themselves become the goal? What if you could allow yourself to radiate that ache, that longing, to open to encourage desires to flow through you – desire purely for the sake of desire.
Our deepest desires as a gift to ourselves, to the world.
Our deepest desires - without the hooks of attachment - are powerful, magical, divine expressions of who we really are. Many people don’t know what their deepest desires are, or they may feel they don’t have any. Or they can vaguely relate but don’t have clarity about what their deep longings might be.
We can easily become disconnected from being able to experience our deepest self. It’s so scary to acknowledge. In society we’ve been conditioned not to have deep passions and longings that move us to the depths of our soul. We’ve been conditioned to think our desires are selfish, we’re wrong to feel them, we feel ashamed of them.
But this is so not true! Our deepest longings are the expression of our deep self. The longing for pure freedom is about becoming who we truly, powerfully can be. The longing to be truly loved, to be deeply seen, is about a profoundly deep connection with another person.
Recently I was feeling frustrated and sad for not being able to find a partner yet. Then I attended a John Wineland (johnwineland.com) online masterclass about the power of desire. Everything changed for me during that masterclass and the penny dropped!
Now, much more often, I am able to let myself become immersed in my deep longing for connection, for the one who can look deeply into my eyes, seeing my open loving heart, my longing to be connected to him in intimacy too.
This longing in itself feels so good, when I let go of the feeling that there’s something wrong with me for not finding the right person yet, or that my life is ticking on and I’m running out of time. No! Just experiencing the longing for its own sake is like offering myself to the world, radiating such electric magnetism and bliss even though the longing is an ache. An ache but a lovely one! To let myself experience the desire in its fullness itself is the goal.
I find I am not afraid of that ache any more, and when I can steer clear of getting hooked into the goal of finding a perfect match, I am free to live in the fullness and radiance of that mystical, exquisite desire for its own sake. It gives me energy and meaning and freedom from frustrated suffering.
And I get the pleasure of meeting interesting men without the pressure of needing them to be The One.